Wednesday, 20 June 2018

Deathbed Requests

Next to my bed is a large envelope called the 'Just in Case' kit. Once they had a different name: 'End of Life' kit. I prefer not to mince my words, and I have particular reasons for my requests. I have been preparing for my death for two years now, and it is getting closer. There is a chance of postponement if, when the leukaemia returns with a vengeance, I successfully undergo FLAG IDA chemotherapy. Of course, I may opt to die rather than undergo the chemotherapy: if the two months of treatment don't hold out hope of more than a brief extension to my life, I see no point in undergoing it. Since my original treatment started two years ago I have experienced a remarkably good quality of life. Of course I don't want to die, but I may opt not to receive the treatment. Whatever happens, I have some thoughts, as I do have choices.
I would prefer to die at home. This depends on my wife being willing to accept this. If I am in hospital undergoing treatment this may not be an option. Ideally I'd like to die at home, supported by whoever of my family and friends is willing to sit with me and hold my hand, even if I am unconscious.
I am told that there is a likelihood that death may come in the form of a brain haemorrhage, which sounds merciful, and quite quick, and without suffering.
In my lifetime I have only been drunk twice: once as a student, and once as a lecturer, when my students on a field course I was leading felt that I had missed out. I do not like losing consciousness. I have never taken drugs for recreational purposes. I have avoided any unnecessary medication. In most cases I do not obtain the prescriptions that doctors have given me. I don't take any painkillers, bar a very occasional paracetamol, perhaps half a dozen in a bad year. I do not want to be given any morphine, or any similar drug, under any other circumstances except for extreme pain. I am fortunate in having an extremely high natural pain threshold. For fuck's sake don't you dare pump me full of such drugs to keep me quiet. If I am agitated, that's fine. I don't care if it upsets those around me. Just hold my hand. I have been with the dying and I know what I am talking about. It's the same with drugs to alleviate the death rattle. I don't want them. Let me rattle. By that stage I won't even be aware. If people are upset please ask them and allow them to leave me. It's me who's dying, not them. And when I am dead then matters proceed normally.

Monday, 18 June 2018

Slavery In Tortola







Tortola October 1st 1814



Previous to stating the nature of the diseases under which the poor Africans lately imported into this Island have suffered, it appears to us, to be requisite to refer to their situation while on the middle passage, as we cannot for a moment doubt that the origin of their complaints is to be traced to the treatment they then experienced. From examining the Vessels in which they were imported, we find that these poor unfortunates must every night have been literally stowed away as an American would place Slaves, or as it is emphatically expressed in a Pamphlet lately published on the Slave Trade, spoon wise, so close to each other that, if during the night one was by exertion unable to change his situation so as to obtain a little respite from almost suffocation, it was impossible to resume it for the night. From the Log Book of the Manuella, it appears that the weather on the middle passage was in general bad, this must have added to the distress of the Negroes, as in that case the Tarpaulins, by night and day are kept over the Gratings to prevent the rain getting below and unhappily the Manuella’s passage was eighty days.
To Medical Gentlemen, to any enlightened Man, we would appeal as to the probable consequences of such a situation, so long continued upon the human frame. As to their food on the passage, it is impossible for us to state in what proportion it was given, if we are to form our opinion as to its quantity we must say that from the emaciated state in which we first saw them it was inadequate for they appeared to be more than half starved. About one hundred and twenty six were lost on board the Manuella alone, on the middle passage as we are informed from disease. A considerable time elapsed between the arrival of the Manuella and the Venus in this Port, and the trial of the Ships during the time they were under the care of the Agents for the Claimants, the food was very improper – Corn boiled with Rice – if the former was sufficiently cooked the latter was destroyed, if the Rice only was properly dressed, the Corn was not in a state for people so circumstanced; indeed Corn, we are well aware from experience, is not a food for Africans labouring under Dearrhoea or Dysentery on enquiring into the medical treatment in the case of the Manuella we were surprised to find that Bleeding, powerful Emetics and Cathartics had been employed. In the Venus the Surgeon who was also Super Cargo and Second Officer candidly acknowledged he had given no medicine whatever.
From the time of our being called to examine and prescribe for these people to the day on which the Manuella was condemned, two hundred and twenty six of her cargo were under our care. The whole suffering under the last state of dysentery. The modes of treatment were varied, placing them under different classes and administering to each class such medicines as different writers on that disease have recommended, that we might discover which mode of practice was most beneficial, all efforts however, proved ineffectual except where Calomel was used, so many as lived to take a sufficient quantity of this medicine as to affect their gums became convalescent; unhappily compared with the many, these were but few. Wishing to obtain every possible information as to the seat and internal ravages of this disease up of twenty bodies were opened, the appearances these exhibited were such as to give us the melancholy information that medical aid could avail nothing. In a paper annexed those appearances are described. Of those returned convalescent from the hospital, the large part has again been sent in, with those complaints necessarily conseq[uent] upon such a disease under such circumstances viz. Anatarca and the various forms of dropsy, many also who had not been previously afflicted with dysentery have been attacked by these complaints are referr[ed] to the sufferings experienced on the middle passage and the subsequent treatment. Of these debilitated as they are we cannot expect many to survive. The general depression of spirits, the carelessness as to life or death (peculiarly among the Eboes) joined to the obstinacy evinced by most of them render the expectation of their recovery very low in our estimat[ion]. The state of debility in which all these poor people were before the Anatarca [?] state evinced itself has rendered ineffectual those topical applications which in general are had recourse to. Where the scrotum and penis have been distended nearly to bursting, in these instances we scarified, the consequences were, mortification of the parts and death. Those who have been long enough in the hospital to derive advantage from the more liberal food, wine etc there given, have lately borne these scarifications and blisters, from which they have derived great benefit. Those who have been tapped for dropsy we fear have small chance of recovery.
It is decidedly our opinion that the sooner the removal of those takes place who are selected for His Majesty’s service the better. The barrack in which they have been placed, since under the care of the Collector of His Majesty’s Customs are commodious and sufficiently large to contain two hundred and fifty more, but they stand on the side of a lagoon into which all the filth of the harbour drifts, and twice in each day the tide leaves that filth exposed so as to give out its noxious qualities which must prove prejudicial and unhappily neither the town or its vicinity offers any preferable situation.
We feel ourselves bound to state that since these poor Africans have been under the care of the Collector every possible attention has been paid to their nourishment and comfort which could possibly have been adopted and that the requisitions we have made in aid of these ends which could be complied with have been most promptly attended to.
We think it necessary to observe that a large proportion of the deaths occurred previous to our being called in. The Africans on board the Venus we did not see until after her condemnation. Never were the ravages of famine more distressingly evident than in the appearance of the poor sick creatures brought on shore from that ship. Even had no disease existed among them we are of opinion that they could not have survived, for nature was quite exhausted.
Signed
G. R. Porter

J. Gent