Gratitude

Just by chance I am glancing through my unwritten blogs, where I have suggested a title and some of the contents, and this is one of them. recently I was thinking how grateful I am for the many skills I have acquired in my lifetime, both intellectual and practical, and I shall start by thinking of some of them, that came to mind this week.

This week I have cooked, hamantaschen and putizza, but also sausage and bean casserole. I learned to cook when I was about thirteen when my grandfather came to stay with us in Manchester with his new wife, and I took charge of all the cooking during their stay. I used a Penguin paperback called 'Cordon Bleu Cookery' and that was my starting point. Soon I discovered the books of Elizabeth David which inspired me. I quickly gained in confidence. I had fun making choux pastry , such as profiteroles, but also covering them with a pyrex dish to make them grow enormously, into what we knew in Exeter later on as Elephants' Feet at Saul's Bakery. Early on I'd been an experimenter, even making the morning porridge for my sisters and myself, and trying new methods that I felt made the porridge more enjoyable in texture. I quickly outgrew cookery-book cooking i.e. minute measurements and detailed instructions.

I built on these skills to be able to cook and cater confidently for large numbers of people. I prepared Passover seders for scores of people with just my and Brana. I catered for week-long residential workshops for a hundred people.

I learnt to how to clean properly, from plenty of practice, especially sweeping customers' floors for my father. Tidying and sorting was a speciality, such as I did at manley Road, both at my parents' home and at the Misses Gronno, who asked me to sort their attic out.
I leaned how to look after animals, starting with my bantams that I kept from about the age of eleven. I took their care seriously, building accommodation for them and learning about pests and illnesses. It helped that I was already using libraried extensively.
I learned in those years skills such as plumbing and electrical wiring. Of course I learnt decorating from my father. And at my grandparents I learned about livestock, about dairy and beef cattle, about sheep and goats, and about pigs, plus mucking out, stooking, and pitching hay and straw.

I learnt languages, not just the French and Latin of school, but also Hebrew, Esperanto and Italian. Esperanto led me to explore many other artificial languages.

I learnt some calligraphy and painting, inspired by my aunt Lyn.

I learnt about hand typesetting and printing, thanks to the sisters at the Cenacle Convent who gave me free reign with their old press and fonts.

I learnt a lot about religion, and especially about the choreography of Roman Catholic liturgy, thanks to that connection, and the guidance of Sister Anne Waite and Sister Maud Burns.

I took over the garden at Manley Road from an early age, cutting the lawns and grass, but before that my grandmother had given me my own small triangular patch where I planted seeds of Virginian Stock. It was a shady patch, but I still had some success. She taught me a lot about horticulture.

I learnt how to light fires, how to glaze windows, how to cut glass, how to make home-made wines and jams.

I learnt how to read out in public at school. I learnt how to write too, and how to study. Most of all I learnt how to use and love libraries and books.

So I am grateful for all these skills, and for many more. I am grateful for my mixed parentage which made me the person I am. As I grew up I became increasingly aware of the differences, and of the clashes it caused. It wasn't easy coming from such a background, but I gained a lot from it.

I am grateful for my education, which taught me first of all to read, and, thanks to Mrs Millie O'Kelly, to pass my 11+ so that I went to a grammar school. Education opened the doors for me, so that fifty years ago I left Manchester never to return, not just to the city, but to that world. Before I left I had already discovered culture, going to performances of my own volition, and alone, at the Library Theatre, and going to the Free Trade Hall to see the Hallé orchestra, initially with tickets given to me by Miss Hedwig. Learning the recorder at primary school liberated me, and there was a special moment when aged about nine or ten when a Music Adviser came to the school and tested us all for a choir and somehow she detected that I was suitable. I felt inadequate but she boosted my confidence.

Education truly did liberate me, especially at university, though had so many interests that much of university learning was quite frustrating, and I spent a lot of time studying other subjects such as Local History or Modern Hebrew.

Israel gave me a lot. I tried to go there in 1967 at the time of the Six Day War, but I was busy looking after my family while my mother was in hospital. I tried to go again in 1973 but wasn't accepted. I eventually went for a few days in January 1979, and then in the Autumn of 1979 I went to Israel for over two years. I grew in confidence there as I was appreciated for my skills in different fields. That was a process that had started whilst working in France from 1970 onwards. Being abroad brought me out of my shell, and made me a more confident person. I am grateful for the skills I learned from many people in France, Israel and Italy, as well as other people I met in my 20s. I learnt to read, write and speak Hebrew, I learnt how to pray, I learnt how to read and chant the Torah, and how to study it. Over the years I learnt how to lead and chant all the services, whether for Shabbat, the festivals or the High Holydays.

I am grateful to my maternal grandmother, who gave me stability throughout my childhood in her simple, unpretentious way. Whether staying with her in my primary school years in Manchester, or my secondary school years in Devon, I was allowed just to be. I helped, I did jobs, I was involved, and I was accepted without criticism for who I was, even if I wasn't a saint. She also gave me my knowledge of country ways, together with my grandmother who taught me to recognise birds, and my aunt Lyn who taught me to recognise wild flowers and to know their country names. She also introduced me to making patchwork on wet summer days and this gave me my confidence in using a needle and later a sewing machine, By the time I went to university I was already making my own clothes: shirts, jackets, trousers and even coats.

I recent years I have been hugely grateful for my friends, whether it was running, cycling or swimming with them, or just sharing time, walking coastal paths, exploring places, or just enjoying each other's company.

I have loved my homes, and the opportunities each gave me to express different facets of my personality. I made curtains, plain and very fancy, I made loose covers. I fitted carpets and lino. I made needlework samplers, I made Honiton lace, I knitted: plain, Fair Isle and cable. I reslated my main home. I installed drains.

I learnt over the years confidence in my body. I didn't gain this in my childhood or at school, but I did walk in the Peak District, sometimes in awful weather. In France as a youth leader in the foothills of the Alps I took on huge responsibilities. In Israel I once did a challenging and dangerous walk from Kibbutz Adamit to Ma'alot. In France we walked and climbed in the Pyrenees with French and English teenagers. In Italy we all walked up Monte Jouf. When 16 I cycled from Manchester to Devon and back. When 60 I cycled from London to Paris. I ran a dozen Half Marathons in that same year, my best time being under 100 minutes.

I learnt how to have a relationship, and since 1977 I have been in a relationship that has given me friendship, fun, children, company and a soulmate. I have appreciated being in a relationship that may have been unconventional, but which allowed me to be myself in many ways, and it has survived challenges, storms, differences and misunderstandings.